


Cause and Effect

by HoolyDooly



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Caustic can't handle his emotions properly, Elliott is angry and very, Other ships mentioned, very broke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26073571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoolyDooly/pseuds/HoolyDooly
Summary: Natalie isn't the only person pissed at Caustic and he as a few words to say.
Relationships: Caustic | Alexander Nox/Mirage | Elliott Witt, Kuben Blisk/Mirage
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Alex was surprised to see Elliot in his suite, after everything had gone down and the down time began. The after party of the season was a large party for investors, Legends and sponsors. Elliott tended to be out there schmoozing for any sponsors he could. Considering his debt issue. Most Legends weren’t in the mood. Miss Paquette and that boy. Just thinking about that trash upset him. But Mirage being here. Beer in hand, in his hotel room.  It’s not something he expected, he looked upset and he can equate it to alcohol or someone having said something hurtful again. Mirage being upset and seeking his bed has been a….. Welcome accident.   
  
Dick is cheap and abundant, a motto that Caustic had learned halfway through his Doctorate. But urges were hard things to deny, it’s been 2 years about now. Since they began to hook up and perhaps more than that.   
  
He’s found Elliott helpful in some matters, the man being the few people that would recognize when he had focused so much he forgot to hydrate or eat. Alexander takes off his suit jacket, the event formal in the hotel lobby.   
  
“Elliott.” He says civilly but it just makes his face twist with hurt, which makes him raise an eyebrow, draping the jacket on a chair. He downs the rest of his- Oh dear, it was his whiskey brand not beer as he had thought prior. Earth style, instead of the fruity flavors most do now of days. He puts the empty bottle on the side table before standing up on surprisingly sturdy feet to point at him.   
  
“You were the mole.” It’s not a question, like many things are with Mirage, it's a demand. His eyes remind him of a coming storm. He thinks for a moment face devoid of much emotion before saying.   
  
“Nothing can be proven.” It hits Elliott badly, he can tell as he grits his teeth.   
  
“‘Miss Paquette has a brilliant mind that I won’t allow be distracted from science.’” Elliott hisses at him and Alexander narrows his eyes at him. That means he had overheard one of his conversations.   
  
“I believe that, but it doesn’t mean I am th-”   
  
“Wattson is with Wraith you idiot- Crypto is fucking Octane!!” Mirage came right up into his face when he said that, punching a fist on the wall next to him, hard enough to shake the decorative print of some ancient painting. A finger in his chest.   
  
“For a whole season! “   
  
Caustic narrows his eyes in thought- He believed they had a close friendship. He was blind to not notice. He should have known they were entangled when Wraith had suggested ending it and murdering Loba to him in private.   
  
“I see.”   
  
Elliot walks away from him with a frustrated noise going to the window, the city bright and outlining him as he stomps around. Alexander realizes he has never seen him this angry before.   
  
Before he can speak Elliott says harshly. “So I’m just a distraction? Heh, i’m always the fucking distraction. Every single goddamn time.” He wraps his arms around himself loosely. Caustic’s bewildered.   
  
“I was just a practice man for Ann, a mistake for Carlos…. A fucking pet for Blisk and now I’m just a distraction- For what? Finding the quickest and cruelest way to fucking murder someone?” When Elliott turns around he’s angry, he’s crying and Alexander doesn’t know why that hurts his heart.   
  
“What is it you’re even trying to figure out with this shit Caus? How to kill every living thing on a planet or are you just a fucking psychopath.”   
  
“My work doesn’t concern you.” Caustic says lowly, he refuses to allow Elliott to do this to him. To critique his work, to question his mental stability. “I do what I love and only what I love. The pursuit of science.”   
  
Elliott looks even more angry. “Well have fun fucking that!” He briskly moves past him, going to the door in a huff, Caustic grabs his wrist and honestly doesn’t know why he says what he does.   
  
“Do you think you can get away from me? Leave just because you’re mad about realizing you’re just another specimen, a distraction as you elegantly put it. “ His tone is dry, but he puts a growl in the last part. “And if I wanted to, how would you stop m-” The punch was swift, hard and definitely broke his nose. The knee to his stomach was even more surprising.   
  
“I’m a Legend too you old fuck! I didn’t just get here because I s-s uck.. Uck. Gave Blisk blowjobs! The last man that forced me into ANYTHING is buried 40 feet down in the desert and i-... I’ll put you there too if I have to!” Elliott leaves before Caustic gets the chance to teach the brat a lesson. A growl deep in his throat as he switches the bathroom light on, leaving a bloody handprint there and on the sink as he turns the faucet on.   
  
He glares at his reflection, hair dishevelled and blood dripping from his nose, now pointing a little further right then it did before, he snorts and spits a bloody luggie into the sink, pulling out a medkit from behind the mirror.   
  
He’s pissed, but somehow not at Mirage.   
  
\--------   
  
Elliott whenever he’s upset always finds his way to the highest possible point, as a kid, it was his roof. Now it’s the top of the hotel 700 story building, having kicked open an ‘employee’ only door. He goes to the edge, gripping the side of the railing and panting hard. Shaking.   
  
Bad memories in the back of his head that he drowns out by drinking, sex or punishing his body in a long cold shower, till he can’t tell if the shaking is from his emotions or hypothermia. His breath hitches and he cries. Uncontrollable and he can barely breath as his nose goes stuffy from it.   
  
He’s fucked up again. He turns around from the edge and crumbles to the ground in his expensive suit, crying like a kid whose dad left for a tub of ice cream and never came back. He pulls his knees to his chest.   
  
He really thought he had started to mean something to the old scientist, had gotten him to laugh, the two had gone on proper dates….. When they were gathering pieces the man had punched a prowler for him.   
  
The sex ended with more cuddlying then Mirage would expect, Caustic didn’t leave him like so many others did in the morning. Caus would run his fingers through his hair and he had felt  _ safe. _   
  
But he’s just a distraction, just a practice man, a mistake, a pet that got too annoying to keep, so send him off to the games and never speak to him again…. Just a celebrity bang, just a nice ass. Just a pretty boy. Just someone to take advantage of, over and over again.   
  
“Mirage?”   
  
Elliott looks up to see Crypto come around the back side of the door, dressed the same as always. Guess he was hiding too.   
  
He pulls himself together extremely fast- People don’t like a depressing fucker and Crypto stares at him with a frown.   
  
“Oh h-hey kid. Or should I call you old man heeeh?” Mirage pulls himself up with a grin. “Two years older than me, you ass.” He forces a laugh.   
  
Crypto stares at him and the longer he looks for signs, the more Mirage cleans himself back up. Before he can question him. Mirage pulls his phone out. “Welp, I’m going to head back to the party. There’s a new sponsor walking around, some watch company. I don’t know who uses them still but, hey. I’ll take a free watch.”   
  
For the second time, that night. Someone grabs him- When did people start getting all handsy with him! He doesn’t notice till Crypto pushes on his chest that he twisted his wrist and turned to look at him with a shaking look. The flash of surprise at Mirage’s quick reflex on his face. He drops it and just mutters before leaving. “Don’t touch me.”   
  



	2. Chapter 2

Elliott goes on a binge, and lord is it a proper one. He completely avoids Wraith other than to ask her to watch the bar for a while.   
  
Partying, drinking, gambling. Elliott is bad at all three, he really fucking is. Even as he works up a persona of the party King, he’s still a fucking socially awkward nerd with shattered china set of chips on his shoulder.   
  
‘Dumb blond energy.’ ‘Hot ditzy type, let you do anything.’   
  
Elliot swallows down another burning shot, drowning out the negative comments his own stupid brain supplies.   
  
He tried to visit his Mom before the binge started and had been turned away, since her memory that day was worse than usual. In fact the Doctor of the adult caring facility told him that his Mom was deteriorating again. The hope he had for the last treatment diminished. There was a new emerging treatment that’s shown good signs though. With a price tag a mile long.   
  
After a call to his banker, making sure the bar was paid up to the next games and that the facility was indeed paid up for the year. He dropped every cent on his Mom. He’d sell his soul to the devil to get her mind back.   
  
He’ll make do, he always did. Ever since he somehow got pretty after puberty. Money is tempting, money is always helpful. Money kept the food on the table when Mom had to use all of her credits to just afford to keep the house over their heads.   
  
His brothers did it the right way, but that way got them killed. He couldn’t put his Mom through another funeral. He wasn’t worth the tears she’d cry. Elliott did it the wrong way, over and over again. It’s how he got the eyes of a club owner on him, coerced into working for him. Coerced into weird sex. Pushed further and further till he couldn’t do it anymore and…. He killed him, buried him in the desert. He still feels the sand under his nails, the blood on his face and the weight of the man when he picked him up to drag, even the sound his lifeless corpse made when it hit the ground.   
  
The three men he had met in the club order him another shot and he just grins. He holds his alcohol a lot better than people think. He pretends to be drunk, but he hasn’t truly been since he was 18. Mirage figures were this is going, it wouldn’t be his first time having sex with three men- Hell he’s been in a bukkake before.   
  
He’s right, two hours later, the three men drunk off their ass get him to come to their hotel room. Even when drunk, the four men take their Protection pills. Protects against STDS.   
  
It moves quickly and they make Mirage feel good, emotionally. Physically he’s doing all the work, sucking, jerking, riding. But the praise spilling from them is all he needs.   
  
‘So beautiful.’ ‘God you're so good!’ ‘Fuckkk, please don’t stop!’   
  
Hungry for validation, hungry for praise. Hungry for  _ love. _ It’s insatisfiable and Mirage knows it’s because he’s broken. Damaged, not smart. Has a lisp and a stutter. It’s why no one keeps him for long. It’s why he’s always pushed away. It’s why no one loves him romantically, because once they strip away his looks he’s nothing of value… Just Damaged goods with no one willing to put the work in.   
  
It’s why people always leave him or he leaves them before they notice how damaged he really is.   
  
The day he finally sleeps in his own bed, is the same day he meets and realizes Rampart was moving in. Wraith says he needs the money, she’s right but she should have told him.   
  
“Elliott you’ve been gone for half the year already. This is the first time I’ve seen you since you handed me the keys and the contact for your accountant.” Renee says with disappointment.   
  
It hits him hard but he laughs it off and he knows he shouldn’t be. At that point he allows it, Rampart is a nice person, though very dirty- She ate gum off of her own shoe!   
  
The next day was one of his worst days ever. His publicist called him in a panic and he did throw up when he took a look at the news cycle. He’s fucked up again, now his public image is going to get tarnished.   
  
‘Apex Legend Mirage sex tape has been uploaded to a wellknown porn sight garnering millions of views.’   
  
‘A video where the Apex Legend Mirage and three unidentified men engage in group sex.’   
  
Mirage keeps his door locked to Wraith and all the Legends that tried to come to see him- He can’t feel good about this. But he lets his publicist do damage control. Issuing a statement pretending to be him. Owning up to being ‘a little freaky.’ And that the real story here is how disgusting someone would film without his knowledge. The Publicist in his writing even added a quip. ‘If I had known I was on film, I would’ve given a wink to the fans!”   
  
The fact everyone in the media and his fans could believe that... It makes him disgusted with himself, more than he usually is.   
  
But his Lawyer promises a settlement for unlawfully posting a video without his consent. Which, Renee was right before. He needs the money.   
  
\------   
  
Alexander has been spending his days the way he likes. In his laboratory, a new shipment of plants from deeper in the outlands, with wondrous affects on the lab rats. The newest season will be marvelous.   
  
He’s been distracted from his emotions, unbothered by Wattson or Elliott. Perhaps people were right to assume he was going soft before, because of Natalie, Elliott simply wormed his way there in a moment of weakness.   
  
It was right about when he was going to set about ordering a meal, when his phone pinged. When he picks it up it seems Miss Paquette has unblocked him.   
  
But she said nothing about his previous statements.   
  
‘Mirage just got caught up in a scandal and no one has been able to talk to him. Renee said the statement was probably from his publicist. You two had been getting close, can you try to touch base with him?’   
  
Another message is quick and he ignores the pang in his heart from it. ‘This changes nothing. I will find out what happened, Doctor. I am only asking because Wraith is worried.’   
  
A scandal? Serves the brat right after what he did. He does message Natalie back.   
  
‘Of course Miss Paquette. I will text him when I have a spare moment.’ But first he wants to see what kind of scandal the fool got himself in.   
  
He needn’t go far to figure out what and he stared at the screen, processing the information. Alexander hasn’t felt this building fury since Wattson’s near death experience, reading the article then finding the video. Seeing Elliott satisfying three men at once with a blissed out expression. When he got to the comment section he’s visibly shaking with rage.   
  
‘Wow who knew he was such a hot slut!’ ‘Onlyfans when Mirage?’ ‘I bet anyone could bend that freak over and he’d let them go to town on him.’

  
The screen cracks in his hold and he throws it, shattering the expensive piece of technology. He’s up and moving before he realizes he’s not going to Mirage’s place. He’s going to Crypto.   
  
Understandably, he is not pleased to see him as he picks the lock after being ignored, He glares at Crypto and the gun he's pointing at him.   
  
“Gutter trash, I’m not here to deal with you. I'll deal with you another time Tae Joon.” He says with narrowed eyes. “For many things. Including destroying my thesis.”   
  
“I was 10 years old Alexander.” Tae spits his name like it’s disgusting.”I looked up to you and I wanted to be like you back then. Glad I didn’t.” He does lower the gun. Not too keen even now on the idea of killing his ‘older brother.’ He still can’t believe he and kind Mrs. Nox were related.   
  
“Matters of Mother’s favourites later. I want to take down that video.”   
  
Crypto gives him a confused look. “Mirages sex scandal video.” He growls and brief realization crosses the younger man's face before he huffs.   
  
“My program is already working on it.” Relief fills him- He knows if anyone could it would begrudgingly be Crypto. But growls again when Tae says. “So you have been fucking Mirage? Wattson said you two were dating. I don’t think Mirage is one to cheat.” Crypto has a harsher then usual look on his face.   
  
“Did you do something at the last end of the season party?”   
  
“That doesn’t concern you.” Caustic turns to leave, but stops when Crypto says.   
  
“I think he nearly jumped off the hotel roof. He’s already borderline suicidal in games.” Crypto isn’t wrong. Mirage’s biggest flaw and advantage is he doesn’t care about his own well being. He’s jumped down cliff faces to grab a banner on a ledge. He’s even somehow ran through bunker with all of his gas traps going off and lived to grab banners as well.   
  
“Do you think I don’t know that?” Caustic says harshly, but the thought makes him feel hollow. Thinking that the last thing he could have said to him would be a threat to force himself on him. Which makes him feel worse. He leaves with a heavy feeling in his chest. Remembering the things Elliott said.   
  
‘The last man that forced me into ANYTHING is buried 40 feet down in the desert and i-... I’ll put you there too if I have to!’ He makes a connection now that makes his heartache intensely and he hadn’t realized his words till now- Elliott had alleged he’d been  _ raped. _ _   
_ _   
_ He pulls his phone out, the walk home long, he barely remembers the walk to Crypto’s apartment but the walk back is arduous. He sits down in a quaint park, street lamp and his holo phone the only illumination. He begins texting Elliott’s number for the first time since the hotel event.   
  
‘Are you well? Miss Paquette is worried.’ He says, instead of saying he himself is the one worried. Caustic sits on the bench, watching the dots come and disappear before the color of his text bubble changes from green to blue. Meaning he has been blocked. He stares at the phone in his hand. Trying to keep himself neutral. But the pain in his chest is worse than his coughing fits. He puts a hand to his face rubbing at his temples trying to distract him from the hurt he’s caused.   
  
What was the cause? How did this effect come about?   
  
A voice he rarely listens to informs him all too happy. _‘It’s your fault. Again.’_   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BABY!


	3. Chapter 3

Elliott can’t keep wallowing. He spends a day cleaning himself, full on spa level pampering in his little apartment above the bar- The office he never uses transformed into Rampart’s room down stairs.   
  
Olive oil with lemon verbena he mixes himself massaged into his scalp, manscaping his chest hair to be less unruly… Just picking up half a year's worth of luxurious maintenance. Bath bombs, body lotions to get the rid of the grey hollow look on his body.   
  
Nails trimmed and clear polish on top to make them look shinier and healthy. Once he’s all done he pulls on the most casual clean clothes he has, checking himself in the mirror to make sure his hair is alright before going down to the bar tonight. He gets a text- probably from Renee. But when he sees it he freezes and feels like all the work he just did was for not.   
  
How dare Caustic after the shit he pulled- Sending him on a spiral for half the year, text him so casually.   
  
He has a hundred thousand things he wants to say to the bastard, he writes it all up about six times, just to delete it. In the end he blocks Caustic, his heart clenched.   
  
Someone knocks on his door and he YANKS it open with the rage that’s burning in him. He expects Wraith or Gibraltar. What he doesn’t expect is Kuben Blisk. Hand raised to knock on the door again.   
  
“Well, Elli. Still one of the prettiest men even after your stunt.” Blisk purrs in his sexy accent and a hand on Mirage’s chest to push him back into his apartment. Kicking the door closed behind them with a bang.   
  
And boy this is just another mistake in a long list of them. But he can’t stop himself from needing Blisk’s attention on him, wanting to hear praise, wanting to feel safe. Because God knows he never does anymore unless he’s in the arms of a strong person.   
  
He makes him feel good, like really good, physically and emotionally. He’d do anything to feel his strong hands squeeze him, sweet words spilling from his lips in that raspy accented voice. Giving him praiseful word after word that keeps driving him over the edge.   
  
Blisk just wrecks him, breaks his mind with an overload of affectionate words, falling asleep after a good two hours-TWO HOUR! Passionate fucking. Head on Blisk chest, legs noodles and that satisfying ache in his lower back.   
  
But he remembers in the morning what about Blisk upsets him every time they fool around…. He’s gone without a trace. A credit loader that’ll fill his bank balance up, next to a bottle of water and aspirin.   
  
Blisk makes him feel like a pet or a high end prostitute. A once in a while indulgence. Not a human on the same footing. He puts himself back together, not to the extremes of last night. But presentable, putting the loader into his wallet, knowing he’ll have to drop it off at the bank before the end of the day…   
  
He goes to the only other place he can find peace, Day time Rampart sells her wares, at least that was the plan. Night time the bar is open. Elliott makes it past everyone without anyone noticing. Unlocking the basement and heading down to his little engineer studio/brewery.   
  
Elliott goes straight to his holo tech, laid on the table from where he left it at the end of last season. He feels empty, water, food- Emotionally. But he sits himself down and pulls his papers over, Flipping through his ideas. His holo tech has gone through a lot. But he wants to try and get it to scan and mimic other people. So when they see someone not him running off some odd direction they’ll shoot and he’ll be able to pinpoint it from there.   
  
His stress goes down immediately as he pulls the entire thing apart and starts reworking it. He’ll definitely need to jump into the practice range to test out all the intricacy and find some people willing to help him out.   
  
God knows how long it’s been till a light clink of a glass sucks him out of his hyper focus.   
  
“I’m sorry to interrupt! I saw you come down here 4 hours ago… Thought you might be hungry.” Natalie gives him a smile, a bag of what smells like his favourite chinese food place and a pitcher of ice water.   
  
“How did-”   
  
“I’m an electrical engineer, do not forget, I may not know how to hack… But I know frequencies.” Natalie seems sheepish when she admits and well. No one can stay mad at her for anything. She was too genuine. Maybe he sees what he was before Avery got his hooks in him. He gives her a smile. Ignoring his own trauma to ease her somehow.   
  
“That’s honestly amazing, I do forget how tellanny- Tale-tale… Smart you are, usually people with brains end up being jerks. Why my Mom liked my dad so much.” Elliott says offhandedly.   
  
Natalie looks curiously at Mirage, but has another thing to question him. When he picks up a piece to slap back together. She questions slowly. “Did Doctor Caustic hurt you too?”   
  
That question drives Elliott to a horrific conclusion that he stutters gibberish till a rational point of view hits him. ‘Caustic has said repeatedly he likes men. He couldn’t have…. Could he?’   
  
“I do not know who to trust, but I know you and he were close and I’m sure the possibility of him being the mole hurt…” Natalie continues like Mirage didn’t just have a near horrible melt down that she’d get hurt like he did somehow.   
  
But the mole- That’s why Natalie is upset. Elliott swallows and says simply. “I think he was the mole. I doubt Crypto was, he doesn’t like Hammond or whatever… But he’d never do things so violently or straightforward like that. Especially to you.” Elliott puts his shaking hands in his lap to hide them from Natalie.   
  
She listens intently but looks into the distance at a concrete wall. “I cannot know for sure till I see proof with my own eyes. For now, I am mad at them both.” She finally looks at him with angry eyes and says tightly. “Do you know anything?”   
  
_ Oh, she just wanted to prod me for information… _ He refuses to show hurt on his face, but does say.   
  
“I heard him talking to someone, about not wanting Crypto to distract you from science. I think he thought you guys were going to fuck.” Elliott is blunt and Natalie’s eyes bulge wide at the accusation. “I don’t think he knew about you and Renee.” He takes a deep breath and buries his hurt again.   
  
“Oh if that is the reason that Casse couille tried to manipulate me-” Angry Wattson scares the shit out of Elliott, but she breaths and says. “Thank you Elliott… Please know that Renee and I are here for you. She has been worried sick.” Natalie touches his shoulder, which feels horrible right now, but he bares it as Wattson says with a sincere expression. “You were her first friend, you didn’t care where she came from or tried to press her for any information. You just talked to her, like she was normal.”   
  
“Thanks Wattson.” Elliott says with a smile, just wanting her to leave right now….. Only buttering him up after pressing him for information.   
  
“I’m sorry Doctor Caustic hurt you too, I am especially here for that if you need it.” He nods his head and Wattson moves to leave but he has to be positive about something.   
  
“Nat- erm, I know thats what Wraith calls you if you prefer w-” “It’s fine!” “Ah okay… Has.” Wattson is looking at him with a curious expression and he rubs the back of his neck, unsure of his wording before finally settling on.   
  
“Has he ever hurt you? Physically outside of the ring?” He regrets saying it, confusion and worry crossing her face.   
  
“No, he has never hurt me outside of the ring. He treats me like any other competitor in the ring. Has even done his 3 punch finisher on me. But that is on contract.” She steps closer to him.   
  
“Has he done anything to you Elliott??”   
  
He thinks back to the threat in the hotel room, Caustic grabbing his arm and threatening him. But that was the only outlier out of the ring. “No, he grabbed me once, but no. Just the way you said it had me worried.”   
  
Wattson doesn’t fully believe him, he can see that clear as day. But she’s questioning everything when Caustic is involved obviously.   
  
He shakes his head. “Can you tell Wraith thanks for all the favours she’s done for me. Please?”   
  
“Of course.”   
  
\------   
  
_ Avery was an older man, built like a brick shit house and was ex IMC. He ran the nicest club in the smaller city on Solace. Elliott grew up in a city called Rome,  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Blisk later commented that the 22 year old Mirage lazed in his arms, before sending him off to the games, that it suited him perfectly. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “The Apex games are the new Colosseum and the Legends the new Gladiators. A young man from Rome joining is perfect.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Elliott had just nodded along, knowing it would please Blisk to know he agreed. But he hadn’t an idea at the time what he meant. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ When he met Avery he was 18, 3 of his older brothers dead. His father had left years earlier. The summer of 2719 was the year things got bad. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ His mother lost her Job because of her memory issues, his last brother- Jon after his father went for work. It was something honest, working as a shipment loader or unloader at one of the space ports _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Elliott thought it was finally going to be his year before that happened, he didn’t need his braces anymore, started wearing contacts and finally wasn’t the shortest guy around anymore. Started doing regular skin care. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He remembers getting home the last day of school, after a great last couple of weeks of his peers looking at him differently. His ex girlfriend that dated him his second year of high school looked at him with shock at how he looked. His speech therapy had been helping him too. His lisp was practically nonexistent and they had started working on his stuttering. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But Jon left to go work, Mom cried for two days about her lost job and…. Everything started to crash, he’d do anything for his Mom! He sold off his comics and his consoles. His collectables. She’d smile so bitter sweetly as he handed her the money from it. Thanking him for giving up so much, but that he didn’t have to. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Of course Elliott had to! It was to help his Mom. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But they burnt through the savings so quickly. His Mom had to babysit for pennies and find other work that wasn’t in her field because something he didn’t realize till much later- People died because of her growing dementia. No one would hire her even though she was a genius. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Jon sent home most of his paycheck, Elliott couldn’t get a legal job yet so tried to make extra money from yard work and stuff. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ One day there just wasn’t food in the house and Elliott realized there was no money to do it after all the bills…. He decided to sell one last thing that was his. Jon J. Witt’s watch. He kept it in the box he had been given it in. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ It was night time, the pawn shop wasn’t in the best area of town, it never is… When a man thought he was a prostitute. Standing in the dirty streets, trying to rationalize why he had to let go of the only thing he had left of his father, in a hand me down hoodie and sneakers. He probably did. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ 500 credits, enough for food for a few days, the guy wasn’t asking for much or was too ugly… He just wanted a blowjob by a pretty face and well…. Elliott had been curious and had tried to mimic some of the porn he had seen. It feels like he had an eternity to refuse, but he had instantly said ‘Deal.’ _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He went home with 500 credits and his Father’s watch still in his pocket. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ So that’s what he did from then on, making money by sucking dicks and he was good at it. Sometimes he never got the right amount of money, but he’d just keep an eye on who did or didn’t. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ At the time it didn’t affect him, but  _ **_now_ ** _ just thinking of it makes Elliott’s stomach turn. He was a baby, he was 18 years old and sucking dicks of men 4x his age. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Then he met Avery, his name makes his skin crawl. It was around the end of summer and he’d had just consoled his Mom about it being fine. He wasn't going to finish high school because she couldn’t afford it and there were no public schools on Solace. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Avery had found Elliott and had taken him to the club…. More specifically to the back room of it. Slapped down 2,000 credits and started asking questions. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Elliott was naive and thinking how much that money could help, paying no mind and blabbering the truth to all the questions, but going red at the last one. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Are you a virgin?” Avery had asked, ashing his cigarette. Hungry blue eyes and a wicked grin as Elliott’s face reddened and he began to stutter. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He watched as Avery slapped down another stack of credits and then another. 4,000 credits would get them through the rest of that month and the next one if they penny pinched. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “A pretty boy like you, blushing like a maiden from a fairytale is worth yer weight in gold.” He purred and then propositioned him. “Consider the money yours but I want to be your first, here and now.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Elliott remembers agreeing, so quickly, blinded by the want to help his mother- Thinking that losing his virginity wasn’t a big deal. _ _   
_ _   
_ Mirage gasps awake, knocking some of his tools off the workbench, panting and shaking. He feels broken and alone, god he wishes he could get some genuine fucking HELP.   
  
No one wants to do it though, everyone just uses him until it’s inconvenient for them.   
  
He gets up and before leaving his basement he snatches a hoodie he left down there for when it felt particularly cold. Mirage pulls the hood up as he goes out the door, no one stops him from walking out of his bar or notices him. Most of the Legends were around- Probably making fun of him he wouldn’t doubt. Without his usual glitz and glam he goes unnoticed into the night, He’s legs don’t complain anymore about walking since he became a legend, he feels like he could walk the entire planet 10x over before getting tired. He reaches the park filled with palms and native plants and the large viewing platform to look over the mesa that’s the only thing between him and Rome.   
Somewhere out there Avery’s body is buried. Deep in a hole where he can never hurt anyone ever again. It brings the same soothing feel deep within him, knowing that man is dead and it was by his hands.   
  
He killed that monster. He’s safe.   
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Mirage figured his day couldn’t get worse. But it can always get worse. “Nah, you guys got the wrong guy.” Elliott has moved past the, ‘get banged by anyone willing to pay him attention’ phase, into a deep melancholy. But as one of the men that recognized him- Not as Championed Legend but as a whore- A deep settling rage begins to fill him. It was pitch, the two moons in the sky the only thing one could see of the galaxy because of all the neon lights of the city.   
  
“Maybe we do, it’s hard to recognize you without a dick in yer mouth. Maybe we can do a check.” One purred. Putting a hand on his face. That was the straw that broke the camel's back as Elliott twisted the hand that touched him, his skin feeling itchy just from the feel of the unwanted touch. He slams his knee into the man's crotch then for good measure twisting the hand until the man screams.   
  
Elliott shoots a look at the guys two friends. “I fucked some guys and it ended up on pornhub. S-stu- stew- Shit happens.” He bares his teeth like an animal kicking the guy on the ground again, releasing his hand. “But I am an Apex FUCKING Legend. G-ge-geo FUCK OFF!” He turns on his heels to go back to navigating the familiar alleyways of the city. He hears light scrap of metal and then some running, before he could even turn around a wet crunching sound hits his ears.   
  
“Now I think that's enough brothas. Take your friend and get outta here.” Makoa says, even in his street ware he was a fortress and it took one disappointed look to get them skedaddling.   
  
Elliott feels like joining them, not wanting to see anyone right now. But a heavy hand on his shoulder and a look of worry keeps him where he stands, he looks down at his feet. Not wanting to meet Makoa’s eyes.   
  
“Mirage, everyones worried sick abo-” He realizes this is probably not a good time. He sighs and smiles. “How about some dinner? On me, an old buddy of mine runs a ramen shop down this way.”   
  
Elliott was about to say no, when his stomach growled, his face went red and Gibraltar laughed his hardy laugh that made Mirage sigh and look up.   
  
“Cmon, let’s get you a big bowl- You little guys worry me. A solid wind would push you over.” Makoa leads him off to a cozy little ramen shop with a dragon neon sign.   
  
Neither of the two noticed that the three men that were messing with Mirage didn’t get too far. Alexander was about to step in himself- He had a meeting with an….. Acquaintance of his, so he could begin to deal with some arising issues. He had a known arsenal to bring to the games, Gibraltar stopped him from splattering the vermin's brains in front of Mirage, but they still got eviscerated by his shiny new sledgehammer.   
  
Elliott meanwhile was hungrier than he thought, eating three bowls of delicious ramen. A ice cold glass of water next to a root beer. Makoa didn’t want him to drink, which is wise. Considering all he wants to do is go black out.   
  
Gibraltar waited till he downed his glass of water, the third bowl being taken away, the older man ordered him another bowl before saying softly.   
  
“Elliott, are you okay?”   
  
He nearly breaks at the soft tenderness in Makoa’s voice. But he just inhales and says. “Could be a lot better.”   
  
Gibraltar gives him a look that Elliott has to look away from, something he hates is that the man's eyes were just like his Dad’s. Nothing else just that, its why he never looks Makoa in the eyes if he doesn’t have to.   
  
“Elliott, you know we care about you. If there is stuff going on, we can help you feel better. When Blisk showed up, it surprised everyone.”   
  
Mirage really doesn’t want to hear that name right now so he slumps down.   
  
“I know he can be pushy and take what he wants. Are you okay?” Gibraltar seems to be speaking from experience and why does that not surprise Elliott that the old Apex Predator dug his claws into Makoa, probably Octane too- He doubts Crypto would allow that. But He can imagine Blisk trying.   
  
“He’s a horny old bastard, not like I don’t have experience with it. Elliott says bitterly, he means Avery.   
  
“Caustic?” Gibraltar says with sympathy and it just hurts him.  _ “No.”  _ Elliott says sharply and it make Makoa’s eyes widen a bit with the hateful bitterness.   
  
Elliott takes a breath. “Trust me, out of everyone I’ve been with, I think Caus was closest to a proper relationship. My sexual experience isn’t limited to my time as a leg-lun-Leggin. Gah the games!.” He throws his hands up a bit with a huff.   
  
“Elliott. Please what's bothering you? I just want to help you Bruddah. You’re my friend.” He puts a hand on Mirages shoulder, his mind is swirling and he sighs.   
  
“When I was a teenager, I basically became a prosti-prostam… Escort.” Elliott admits, he feels Gibby’s hold on his shoulder tighten and he refuses to see the look in his eyes. Knowing all he’d see is his father’s disapproval- But fuck his father! If he hadn’t left….   
  
He takes a breath. “I-I hate myself, i’m disgusted by myself.” Mirage says softly. “But I need the approval, I need the confidence. I need other people to acknowledge me as sexy, as pretty.  _ Someone they want around and isn’t a distraction for once.”  _ He chokes on the last part. Knowing that he fucked up yet again and he wasn’t more than a distraction to Caustic hurts him more now than it did before. Gibby tries to hug him but he shakes the hold off.   
  
“I don’t want to be touched right now.” Elliotts huffs a laugh. “Honestly, I'm already damaged goods, a hug might finally break me for good.” He tries to joke.   
  
They’re quiet for a bit, a new bowl of ramen is placed in front of Elliott and he sighs. Appetite gone.   
  
“Why did you become an escort?” Gibby asks softly, sadness in his tone and Elliott feels like an asshole for making him feel like that.   
  
“My Dad walked out on us when I was a kid, it was my Mom and my brothers. 3 deaths in and it’s just me and my middle brother left. She lost her job and I had nothing else left of mine to sell but my body.” Elliott finally looks up and Gibby looks pained by the explanation- a dark part of his mind says he’s disgusted with him, just as much as Mirage is. But the floodgates are open and if it’s too hard for Gibraltar to hear, then he shouldn’t have asked in the first place.   
  
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat to help my Mom.” Is the first stern thing he says, and it’s true. He’d give everything up for his Mom. His only family left, he has and will continue to give it up for her.   
  
“She wouldn’t have wanted you to hurt yourself.” Makoa tries to gently say and is surprised when Elliott punches the table, hard enough to shake it, but Gibby stops it soon enough to keep food from spilling.   
  
“She’s been hurt too d-da- Fucking much Makoa.” Elliott practically snarls. “Her husband leaves her, her kids start fucking dying left and right. Then her memory starts to slip- Little things, always little things until one big fuck up that killed 7 people at the lab she worked at, she got away with just being fired, But it ruined her. Even now with how severe the dementia has gotten, she still cries about it being her fault- She’s looked at me and called me by my father's name, begged me to not leave her as if I’m my own father. Called me my brother's names even. Do you know how many dead people I have pretended to be just to make her smile?” He glares at the table and his shaking fist.   
  
“All I want is her to be happy again, not to worry. Not to come home tired from babysitting some assholes other kids, coming home crying because she lost another job. Staying up till the morning lamenting on how to pay the next bills.” Elliott sits down again, unsure when he stood up.   
  
“All it took for me to find a solution was to stand in the rain in hand me downs and a stranger offering 500 credits to a teenager for a blowjob. I accepted.” He thinks for a moment, would he change it if he could go back?   
  
Even if he sold his watch, it wouldn’t make up for anything. He’d lose the few good memories he had of his shit head of a father. He tracked him down with his first apex champion check. He had a new life- A new family in Gaea. A pretty young wife, three kids under the age of 10. His parents weren’t even married. He wouldn’t. He knows he can’t change it so he wouldn’t. He adds bitterly.   
  
“A bastard paid me 4,000 credits to take my virginity too.” He practically spits venom as he says that. Elliott takes a shaky breath. Shooting a teary glare at Gibby for opening the floodgates. The poor man was stunned.   
  
Makoa opened his mouths a few times, reaching out to touch but stopping himself, remembering that he doesn’t want to be touched. He finally sighs. “Elliott, you’ve been through so much trauma that I can’t help you. You’re a good man, you did so much to help your mother. Gave up so much. But you can’t keep holding all this pain in, until you can’t handle in. You need to speak with a grief counselor, a therapist.” Gibby says calmly, glad that the Ramen shop was empty other than his close friend.   
  
“Last time I tried, I got taken advantage of again. Remember my last ‘girlfriend’ ? She was a therapist that saw me as a bank. Manipulated me and fucked with my head.” Elliott admits brokenly, making Gibby wince.   
  
The two are quiet for a bit. Before Gibraltar says gently. “I know someone, I trust with my life Elliott. He’s good at what he does. Can you try just one more time?”   
  
Mirage doesn’t want to, god he doesn’t want to. But he nods his head, the prospect of being fixed making his hopes rise some.   
  
Makoa nods, taking out his phone, he scrolls through the contacts and hesitates only for a minute before texting Nick.   
  
_ I need a favour. I need an appointment for a friend of mine. Anytime you can, he’s in rough shape. _   
  
Mirage has sadly decided to bury his feelings in the now cold ramen when Gibby takes a breath and sends the message. He just hopes Nick will see it.

**Author's Note:**

> Felt like writing angst, so here it is, unbeta'd and probably with a slurry of incorrect spelling.


End file.
